CONTACT KELLY
IMPORTANT NOTE: Due to the ever-growing skills and capabilities of sea monsters, it is no longer safe (or recommended) to send messages via carrier pigeon and/or dirigible. Therefore, until aeronautic communication can be safely re-established, we recommend that any and all messages be sent via the boring and impersonal form conveniently located at the bottom of this page. Thank you for your patience and understanding during this difficult time in our collective evolution.
WHY MIGHT YOU WANT TO CONTACT ME?
(IN ALL HONESTY, A MORE ACCURATE DESCRIPTION IS: WHY MIGHT I WANT TO BE CONTACTED)
1. You saw one of my films and you loved it!
2. You saw one of my films and you hated it! (Admittedly #2 is more likely than #1, but not as preferable a reason to contact me.)
3. You have a vardo that you are desperate to offload at a low price, and a team of mules I can borrow to bring it home.
4. You are producing a film or theatre project and you'd like to hire me! (This is a really great reason to contact me. Much better than reason #2.)
5. You are located in Montana, Alaska, or West Virginia and you are producing a film or theatre project and you'd like to hire me! (The only reason that's better than #4 is #5.)
